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Harder Roads

by John Allen James

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1.
Reborn 04:20
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How long had it been Since I last heard your name A lifetime of dollars A fortune in days Wherever you'd gone to Now we lie here The pain you hold onto Can fade with your fears I'd love to touch you In all kinds of places And make love to you In all kinds of ways But what I want now Beneath this blue moon Is to build you a shelter And wrap a cocoon Shepherd you safely Watch you transform Hold you unstirring And release you reborn So we will imagine This can be done When you close your eyes And you let sleep come We'll take all of your sorrows Change all their names Take all you borrowed And make it repaid I wish I had magic To wash all away But I'll give you an ally To face the dark days And what I want now Beneath this blue moon Is to build you a shelter And wrap a cocoon Shepherd you safely Watch you transform Hold you unstirring And release you reborn Like chronic disease With no known cure You live a new normal You learn to restore You never forget What you've endured But on good days It can feel like before So show me a smile You might not yet feel We'll work on what's broken Let time help heal And what I want now Beneath this blue moon Is to build you a shelter And wrap a cocoon Shepherd you safely Watch you transform Hold you unstirring And release you reborn
2.
Harder Roads 03:39
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I was little once But I was never young Made to fill in for a father When I wished to stay a son And I learned early enough To live without my wants Disappointment can be tough But it teaches you the cost And I I Rode on harder roads And I I Rode out there alone Another winter morning In the middle of July The sentry gave no warning And I'm always stuck outside I have achings to make airplanes Turn and take me home With the pick of all directions Don't know which to make them go And I I Rode on harder roads And I I Rode out there alone I walk on hostile sidewalks And knock on foreign doors The weather's not what wears me And makes it seem so cold I love when people tell you You can be what you want to be Like you wave a magic wand And make dollars from your dreams Because I cuddle with the steel And caress the whetted blade I take comfort from my weapons And dream of dragons I will slay And I I Rode on harder roads And I I Rode out there alone Go selling all my relics When I'm dead and gone So I won't look back on my time And see how rarely I belonged I was little once But I was never young Made to fill in for a father When I wished to stay a son
3.
Lose Without Missing 04:56
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I well know beware my wishes To give you new life to lead If you find the path to happy It could mean that I must bleed I built you up when you were beaten down Held hands to stand you on your feet How good it is to watch you running now How sad it will be to see you leave Forgive my selfish moments When I want to keep you mine I want to dissolve inside myself Drown my senses for a while I want to look without seeing I want to touch without feeling I want to hear without listening I want to lose without missing I well know you feel most grateful That I could meet your deepest needs The job is done the moment fateful You will ask me to set you free I am more than half filled with joy With the rest of me left empty Take on your hurt and feel like dying That's my bittersweet destiny Forgive my selfish moments When I want to make you stay I once wore the shining armor Now I wear a shroud of gray I want to look without seeing I want to touch without feeling I want to hear without listening I want to lose without missing Forgive my selfish moments When I want to keep you mine I want to dissolve inside myself End my senses for a while I want to look without seeing I want to touch without feeling I want to hear without listening I want to lose without missing
4.
Kingdom Come 04:15
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Fateful day to go to work One morning early in Roanoke Someone shows up with a grudge And on live TV he settles up Welcome to America We take the crazies and give them guns Over and over nothing's done But prayers offered with shoulders shrugged Take the crazies Give them guns Call it freedom Or call it nuts Keep your prayers They don't do much On a bullet train To kingdom come Parents drop their kids at school A December day at Sandy Hook Twenty dead at six years old From first grade to their funerals Welcome to America Our school rooms stained with children's blood Over and over same song sung Such tragedies are now ho hum Take the crazies Give them guns Call it freedom Or call it nuts Keep your prayers They don't do much On a bullet train To kingdom come Premiere night on Aurora, CO Minutes into the midnight show Full metal jacket attack is on The Dark Knight ends with 12 more gone Welcome to America We take the crazies and give them guns Over and over nothing's done We can't decide we've had enough Take the crazies Give them guns Call it freedom Or call it nuts Keep your prayers They don't do much On a bullet train To kingdom come
5.
My Peace 05:18
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That old cliché about people parted That the home is where the heart is And their triteness makes them no less true All my soul is there with you In endless travels across dark lands I always trusted you'd understand Of all these places I make my stands That my home is in your hands What we make of the time we have here And what I take from you I hold dear In between what they say and what they mean I hear your voice and I have my peace We are the sums of all we've seen All we've broken all we've healed All we told and all we concealed Beneath our veneers we are revealed All we're after all we've caught All we wanted all we bought All we're given all we've lost All we live for is in my heart What we make of the time we have here And what I take from you I hold dear In between what they say and what they mean I hear your voice and I have my peace
6.
The Way It Goes 03:50
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Sometimes I wonder Sometimes I know Sometimes I think I know But I don't There are answers Beyond my grasp Some things I think I should know I have to ask And that's just the way Of the world It's just the way That it goes It's not freedom When you set me free Some things I think I deserve Are not meant to be There is wisdom I'll not be told Some things I think make me wise Just make me old And that's the way That it goes It's just the way Of the world I ask myself What is my fate Sometimes I think it's my turn But I have to wait There are meanings I'm not meant to know Some things I want so much But the answer is no And that's the way Of the world It's just the way That it goes
7.
Sorry 03:30
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Dear lady I tucked you into me You were an isle of heaven As I sailed the devil's sea Oh lady You tried to sow a need You gave a taste of sweetness As I waded bitter fields There was nothing I could ask for That you wouldn't try to give And I'm sorry that I could not Want to need your kiss There was nothing I could want That you wouldn't try to be And I'm sorry that I could not Give you all of me Dear lady Oh precious company You answered every echo When I fell among the trees But lady The twain shall never meet I didn't mean to crush your heart As I stood back on my feet There was nothing I could ask for That you wouldn't try to give And I'm sorry that I could not Want to need your kiss There was nothing I could want That you wouldn't try to be And I'm sorry that I could not Give you all of me Dear lady A flower doesn't fly You dreamed our vivid plans While I passed a faded time Oh lady It's not a cushion lie You deserve a better man Than one searching for his rhyme There was nothing I could ask for That you wouldn't try to give And I'm sorry that I could not Want to need your kiss There was nothing I could want That you wouldn't try to be And I'm sorry that I could not Give you all of me
8.
Name 04:00
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You got your claws out You’re going all out You want to see me pay Don’t get your facts right Before you go start a fight Now I get my say I do not miss you There is no more to do I learned to turn the page So if I shout it out And if I tell it loud No one will no your name Yes you were done with me And I was slow to see I got the memo late So please forgive me For having feelings That don’t evaporate I do not miss it I readjusted I went along my way I did not bend the truth I did not tell on you Nobody knows your name You want discretion What about your best friends You told in great detail I kept my mouth shut I kept the tie cut But you turned up again I do not miss you There is no more to do I learned to turn the page Now if I shout it out And if I tell it loud No one will know your name You don’t want answers You want my hands up You'll get your war your way You laid the cards out You want to hash out We're gonna raise the pain I did not miss it I readjusted I went along my way I did not bend the truth I did not tell on you Nobody knows your name I do not miss you There is no more to do I learned to turn the page Now if I shout it out And if I tell it loud No one will know your name
9.
Blue Sky Rain 04:02
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Burden me now with tales to tell Of those who listened and then played deaf The guilt hurts less than the regrets Show me an angel I'll give the rest Borrow me now to get you through broke hearts Spill yourself to me rid yourself bad thoughts This rented love for which I'll grow too fond Will give me glory now until you're gone From here the day may grow dark Enjoy easy times before it gets hard Question the crowd the cries and the craze When you see the unexplained Like Blue Sky Rain Blue Sky Rain Cover me now so I won't want Cold and alone left with all I've lost Sell me a soul so I won't feel bought Thank you for comfort upon these rocks From here the day may grow dark Enjoy easy times before it gets hard Question the wise the wheres and the ways To understand the unexplained Like Blue Sky Rain Blue Sky Rain
10.
Go On 04:10
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In the day I dream Just like when I sleep In my dreams I see Your arms around me Still all my dreams Are just fantasies As I long for you Hopefully Because I can't go on Any more like this The way that I Miss your kiss I've been away Too long a time I've got no right To call you mine Still all the while I could feel you near Wishes you whispered I could hear And I can't go on Any more this way Not another day Will I stay away If I could read your mind I would see a sign Show me the way I want to find What you mean to me I'm just beginning to see Of all things you need Say one is me Because I can't go on Any more like this The way that I Miss your kiss And I can't go on Any more this way Not another day Will I stay away

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released July 23, 2016

John Allen James: vocals, acoustic and electric guitars, keyboards, MIDI programming, drum programming. All songs written and recorded by John Allen James. © 2016. All rights reserved.

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John Allen James Tampa, Florida

Journalist of star treks, reporter of love songs, and writer of daydreams. I rip myself open, write the devils down, stand in front of strangers and set my soul to sound.

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